Blog Post 1

"Conquergood's notion of dialogic performance is, in part defined through his literal mapping of four major dangers a performer might encounter in attempting to engage with others across differences"

 

In chapter four the concept of dialogic listening is revealed and I began to see just how important this is when dealing with differences. This is taken a step further as the author states that the concept of dialogic performance is important for developing a stance of critical compassionate listening. It is then after told that in this performance that their are four pitfalls to our listening stance. 

The first pitfall being the "Custodian's Rip-Off", this is the act of engaging with others for selfish reasons. Second, the "Enthusiast's Infatuation, is that the differences of the other are superficially oversimplified or simply ignored. Next the "Curator's Exhibitionism", focuses almost exclusively on the differences of others. And lastly, the "Skeptic's Cop-out" also focuses on the differences of others, but instead of objectifying these those who fall into this fourth pitfall simply refuse to engage at all with the individuals due to these differences. All off these pitfalls are things that we need to be aware of and avoid at all costs. 

The reason that the quote at the beginning of this post stuck out to me so much as I dove more into this chapter is due to the fact that this was the most relatable to me. This is a concept that I personally have struggled with in my life and have experienced through seeing this happen to others many times as well. As we discussed this topic in class it became clear just how common these four pitfalls occur to everyone around us daily. Hearing the many examples of students facing this made me realize just how big of a problem this currently is in communication. Personally I have struggled the most with Custodians Rip-Off. For example I find myself not talking or hanging out with a friend for two weeks but then contact them randomly one night when I need to know something about a school assignment. Also the more common occurrence for me is with my parents. I will reach out to them solely if I need a financial aid and not for anything else. This is something that I want to work to improve on and change in my life. 

As we discussed this in class we were tasked to come up with examples for each of these four Pitfalls. The group that I was a part of kept coming back to examples in couples or spouses. Because of this I did more research on this topic within that specific area. I found an article that discussed how the majority of communication breakdowns in marriages are due to selfishness. Not only did it discuss the negative aspects of this but it gave a few tips to improve on this with couples. this included making your spouse your focus during conversation, stop self defending and never to assign blame. All of these are great for this specific situation where the pitfall is occurring. In our personal lives we need to discover when and how we use these pitfalls and more importantly how we can stop this from happening. 

I have learned that in communication their is always a possibility for breakdowns and misunderstandings. But when you are invested into both sides of the communication it can make it a lot easier. Doing this I can create compassionate listening and stray away from the four pitfalls. 

Source: https://aandbcounseling.com/spirit-often-behind-communication-breakdowns-marriage/