Family fights

                Coming out was hell for Michael. His religious parents in angry denial forced him into conversion therapy. After he was unable to pray the gay away and refused to change his “ways” the family disowned and abandoned him. This is not a uncommon story and many from religious communities know about similar incidents happening. The sad fact of it is often the worst rejections and discrimination a LGBTQ will face is from family. Family is the core of society and by nature what most think of when they think of home. However just like any parts of society family can be full of discrimination, hate, and even violence. Abuse in the home has been a constant problem since the dawn of time but it is not addressed on the level that it should be. I use the example of Michael because it paints an all to common story. I come from a very religious town, one who treats non members and the gay community with absolute disrespect. The worst of this treatments from what I witnessed was from family. This is the conversation that no one in the community wants to have. But its one that we need desperately. In this post I would like to discuss bulling in families, different types of abuses, and finally discrimination to LGBTQ.

                Bulling in family is an issue even if it is not widely talked about or studied. This is addressed in one of our readings Family Bullies which was published by Journal of Family Communication and written by Berry and Tony Adam. In this article they look at a few case studies of specific bulling in the family. They look at a girl who is hurt by her sister as well as Tony being bullied by his cousin for his sexuality. They look at what might have caused this and the long term effects. Tony for example if after the bulling ended and the cousin attempted to grow up because of the damaging effects of there earlier relationship they could never quite build back the trust. Family bulling is complicated because there is a society norm that some bulling should be allowed. That siblings fighting is normal and helps the children develop. And while this is true in some cases other cases proves that it goes way to far. This bring us to our next subject the difference between abuse and bulling. This is a hard question to answer and there is a very fine line. Bulling can be a form of abuse. But Abuse is often very damaging and has long term effects on the victim.

                There are many types of abuse but generally they can be narrowed to three category physical, verbal, and phycological. Physical is the easiest to see this is when one person does physical harm to another. Hurting of any kind whether it be a pin prick or a punch can fall into this category. An example of this from our reading is when Tony’s cousin tackled him and pinned him. This is very common with men and is often used to toughen them up if they are breaking the rules of society in this case as many other being to feminism. The next we have verbal which is insults. This can also be seen in the text when Tony is called a fag. Though no physical harm fall on the victim in this one it is still very damaging. This is very often seen with girls. This is commonly seen in shamming. The last one is phycological which is abuse which is to change ones thoughts. An example from the reading is the dad taking the son to strip clubs. Or as in my introduction example conversion therapy.

                Now the last point I would like to look at today is family bulling directed towards LGBTQ. In the article The Psychological Impact of LGBT Discrimination they explain that LGBTQ individuals are ten times more likely to be discriminated against then heterosexual individuals. And though there are statistics of discrimination in everyday life there is a lack in studies of home life. Often where you seen the largest conflict between gays and families is in religious communities. I come from a very religious community and I saw this in a lot of ways. Too very obvious one of individuals being hit by there parents and being kicked out of the house. To much smaller but still hurtful form of bulling like a friend whose parents told him they “would still love him despite this”. This is a from of microaggression and would fall into the category of verbal abuse. This problem is very wide spread and not appropriately addressed. Smith writes for the Huffington post on this subject in his article “Why This Mormon Mom Opened An LGBTQ House A Block Away From A Church Temple.” In which he talks to a Mormon mother who has started a relief program for those abused by the church family. Abuse to LGBTQ is an issue that needs to be addressed.

                So in conclusion, family bulling is a common thing that is not talked about as much as it should. As I have learned in this class and seen in my own life this issue is real and needs to stop. For those of gay attraction the likely hood of bulling and abuse increase. This is something that more effort needs to be put towards fixing.

Berry, K., & Adams, T. E. (2016). Family Bullies. Journal of Family Communication, 16(1), 51-63.          doi:10.1080/15267431.2015.1111217

Smith, C. (2017, October 18). Why This Mormon Mom Opened An LGBTQ House A Block Away           From A Church Temple. Retrieved March 22, 2018, from                https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/encircle-provo-mormon-lgbtq_us_59e6c64ae4b08f9f9edb7bd0

The Psychological Impact of LGBT Discrimination. (n.d.). Retrieved March 22, 2018, from           https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brick-brick/201402/the-psychological-impact-lgbt-discrimination