September Blog Post-McKenna Kynett

From the reading Man Upby Carlos Andres Gomez, something that really stood out to me was the certain stigma that boys are not allowed to have fear in order to grow up and become a man. When talking about perception this week, this piece tied in very well because this is something that has been going on since forever and it is something that affects a boy’s overall perception of who they are and how they should act. One thing that Carlos Andres Gomez said which capture this very well was when he stated, “Every day I watch men around me struggle with the burden of concealing their fear, like I did for so many years. Men puff up their chests and curse and yell and fight and even die to avoid being called afraid, as if it were a mortal sin, the worst one of all” (p. 39). This was very interesting to me because I never realized how hard it can be for boys to grow up with that certain pressure society puts on them. Carlos talks about how at a certain point, his fear was controlling his life and the way he chose to act so he decided he needed to change. He wanted to ‘be a man’ and he couldn’t do that without getting rid of his fear. I think many boys growing up are expected by their peers to be rugged and aggressive so they hide their true feelings in a lot on situations. This can ultimately influence their perception of themselves and the overall world, and also their identity and how they shape that growing up. 

One example that I thought of for this would be from the movie The Outsiders. A group of tough young men were constantly under the pressures of being the ‘man’ and being ready to fight whenever they walked the streets. They were looked down on when they showed fear or held back from a fight. They were expected by their peers to be tough, mean, and aggressive because if they weren’t they would probably lose their life. This never ending battle to ‘be a man’ was especially evident in the character Pony Boy. Whenever he showed fear and weakness, he was pressured back into being ruthless and strong. He was never fully able to show his true emotions, and that ultimately affected the way he carried himself, and the way he looked at his role models. 

Overall, the perception that we have of each other and ourselves ultimately shape who we are. We are influenced by the ‘social norms’ of our world and we conform to them in order to be accepted by our peers.