Because of the interests I’ve had and the paths I have
chosen to take through my college career, I really haven't taken the time to
investigate communication and listening and what role they play in our lives. I
never have really considered the value of good communication and listening
skills, but this class has really been showing me through the readings and
lectures how these two are so tightly intertwined between one another. How you
can’t have one without the other for better levels of communication and
connections between people. While this is a somewhat obvious statement, the
extent to which these two subject or activities are connected is what is
surprising to me.
Two years ago, I took just a basic communication 101 class
at the College of Western Idaho. This class was centered around public speaking
and of course but we spent a good chunk of time on speeches, how to write them,
and how to present them, but we also discussed listening at length.
Specifically, active listening and what that means. Unfortunately, because it
was a 101 class, I wasn't really focused on the topic, oh the irony. I figured
that it would be a simple enough concept that I could go through the book right
before our exam and be fine. But there is so much more to active listening than
I had thought, and I didn’t do as well on this exam as I had thought I would!
Listening is so much more than just looking at someone as they speak or nodding
your head occasionally. It’s a full process. And more than just a physical
process. The book assigned to this class says that listening, regardless of the
type (Passive versus Active listening) is a skill in need of development. We
are constantly learning how to listen, but we can also draw from this statement
that there’s more than just the mechanical aspect of listening involved.
If we can, lets take a big step back, to look at the
definitions of hearing versus listening. Hearing is all mechanical, it’s the
biological process of taking in sound. and I feel like this quote kind of
touches on hearing. Listening takes effort, not just taking in sounds and
reaction, but dissecting and analyzing these sounds and reacting as you go. And
reacting genuinely. When you actively listen, you are maintaining eye contact,
nodding your head, staying open, but also repeating back some of the
information thrown your way or asking applicable questions about what is being
said. Listening is more than just a physical process. When you chose to listen
with your whole self, your whole being, you can start to see how conversations
can carry more depth and meaning, you can receive more information in a
conversation, stuff that you would miss if you were to just hear someone
speaking towards you.
The differences between passive and active listening or
hearing versus just listening bring up an interesting question. How can someone
whose deaf actively listen? In the movie, A
Quiet Place the family must communicate through sign language in order to
survive these creatures that hunt with sound. Four of the five can hear but their
daughter cannot. So how can she actively listen to what her parents or brothers
communicate to her? This is literally a matter of life or death for them! When
you watch the movie, you can see that when they are communicating with one
another, eyes are locked, and bodies are often angled towards one another.
While they can’t always repeat what has been said, they take the time to stop,
listen to what they are being told, and then later respond. It’s a very
deliberate action to listen when communicating in sign language and really
shows that listening is more than just the mechanical process of hearing
someone. Its putting in so much more effort to process what is being said but
to also acknowledge that you believe that what your conversation partner is saying,
has weight and enough value for your undivided attention.
Making people feel like their words have weight is amazing
for both you and your conversation partner. You get to see them feel valued and
become more confident in their communication, and they get to feel important
and validated. Being a good listener isn’t always super easy but when you can,
active listening can make a huge, positive impact on your relationships and
help you to create new bonds too. Regardless of the level of the friendship or
if you’re strangers, giving someone your time and undivided attention can make
a huge impact for them. At work, at school, with friends or family, your
relationships will have a positive shift in dynamics with the addition of
active listening. As Americans, I feel like we are so focused on maintaining
this insanely fast pace that real listening has become a treat instead of
something to be expected in a conversation. And that it absolutely terrible.
Hearing is easy, passive listening is easy. To listen, and
I mean to really, actively listen to a person takes work, it requires effort
that our world just doesn’t see very often. It’s a huge problem but
unfortunately, for most people, like myself, it’s not something I would have
ever considered to be a struggle until now. Until I have learned more about the
processes behind it and involved in active listening. It’s definitely more than
just looking at someone when they speak, its interacting with what they’re
saying as they’re saying it.
No comments:
Post a Comment