Nicole Boyce
Blog post #1
Dr. Christina Ivey
September 6, 2018
Blog post #1
Dr. Christina Ivey
September 6, 2018
Active Listening
The concept of
active listening has changed how I communicate with others and has strengthened
all my relationships (personal, romantic and professional). Julian Treasure
refers to active listening under the RASA model, which stands for receive,
appreciate, summarize and ask. While I agree with this model, active listening
is so much deeper than this. Today, I’d like to expand on the RASA model while
providing examples that convey the parts of this model.
Let’s start with
receive. When we think of the word receive in communication, several things may
come to mind. The first thing I think of is the sender (the person sending the
message or information) for the receiver or decoder to receive. The sender is
influenced by a variety of things: their environment, nonverbals (sound, light,
space, temperature), their position, culture, noise, their perspective and how
he/she perceives the relationship between themselves and the person they are
sending the message to. The receiver (decoder) is influenced by these same
things. How the receiver receives the message is heavily influences by their culture.
This is their top “filter”. Our culture can be anything from our family,
friends, student culture, culture within a society, work culture, religious
culture/affiliations, etc. How we were raised, our gender, age and
socialization are dynamics of our culture.
The second part to
the RASA model is appreciate. When I think of appreciate, I think of the word validate.
When we appreciate what someone is saying, we are validating them. We validate
the person and the message. The last two parts to the RASA model are summarize
and ask. Summarizing (or paraphrasing) what the sender has said is another form
of validation. This provides confirmation to the sender, that the receiver
listened to their message and understands what he/she said. The final stage of ‘ask’,
means to ask questions. The receiver is encouraged to ask questions and clarify
anything he/she does not fully understand. This is especially important in the active
listening process to create shared meaning. Creating shared meaning strengthens
interpersonal relationships and limits room for misunderstandings.
To relate this
model of active listening back to my culture, I’d like to provide you with a
little insight into my family culture and my experiences with active listening.
I was raised in
home where conflicts amongst my siblings and I was always discussed. My parents
forced my sisters and I to work things out on our own, through talking. As a
child, I remember getting in fights with my sisters and my mother would tell us
to go to the top of the stairs and come up with 3 solutions to the problem at
hand. We weren’t allowed to come down (downstairs) until we came up with 3 good
solutions. We would then report back to my mother with what we had come up with.
Throughout my childhood, this is how my sisters and I solved every problem we
encountered with one another. Growing up, this taught us independence and
empowered us to resolve things on our own. Little did we know, we were being
taught life skills in effective communication and active listening. By being
forced to work things out on our own, my sisters and I were forced to listen to
one another. Initially, we would bicker back and forth, not progressing at all
towards a reasonable solution. Initially, our model of communication was more of
a transmission model or sender/receiver model. Over time, we moved into more of
a RASA or interactive model of communication, once we realized we would need to
listen to one another and consider the other person’s perspective to
effectively resolve our conflicts. It took years of practice and required conscious
awareness when communicating with one another and now my sisters and I are
closer than we’ve ever been.
In conclusion, active
listening is an art. It requires focused, intentional effort. Active listening
is a desire; a choice. Active listening has the power to strengthen all
interpersonal relationships. Active listening can also be referred to as
compassionate listening, which is a selfless act, solely focused on the speaker.
For your viewing
pleasure, the two TEDx videos below summarize the importance of active listening
and concepts of the RASA model. The last video is on compassionate listening,
in an interview with Thich Nhat Hanh. Each video contributes an interesting
perspective to listening. I encourage you to watch and listen… it very well may change your life.
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