Deborah's February Blog

Deborah Ahmuty

Blog Post – February

Man Up – Gomez

On the topic of ‘Identity’…I have chosen a few sentences from Man Up, Fear: Beneath the Façade by Andres Gomez

Page 12 – “Right now I stand on the precipice of confronting two of my biggest fears: marriage and fatherhood. Each will require a life-altering leap of faith. Either one demands a plunge into the unknown, without guarantees or shields or certainty. But, I’ve learned to no longer view fear as a burden…I thank God for discovering that I am only as strong as those fears I am willing to confront. Thank God for my mother pushing me to be brave. Thank God for my insane obsession with wanting to face off with my fears, staring each one down, as if it were a bully.

     Fear, ultimately, is the reason I have survived. “

Identity is an interesting thing…” to each their own” …” you do you” …” ain’t nobody like me” …you know, whatever it takes to claim your own place in the world. How can we all be the same, but different? Our ‘identity’ is what makes us unique, but in so many ways, what makes us unique is actually quite common. Our identity is a cumulative measure of our beliefs and qualities. These same beliefs and qualities could actually be shared by others. A psychological identity relates to self-image, self-esteem, and individuality. Although the idea is that your ‘identity’ can change from day to day, based on experiences that may change your beliefs. Therefore, the conscious awareness of the fact that your identity of the past, may be different in the future, is a tough concept. Some part of our identity will guide us through our lives, as was discussed in Fear; Beneath the Facade, the cause of his fears changed over time, but the basis of Fear remained constant.

I found this passage to be quite interesting because although he admits to still having fears, he also has learned to appreciate those fears for giving him strength. I also like it because he gives thanks to his mom for pushing him to be brave. If the same story was written from the perspective of the mom, how would it be different? I ‘identify’ as a Mom, and I can tell you that it is quite difficult to be brave enough sometimes to offer your children the steadfastness that it takes to allow them to overcome their fears, when you too have a substantial amount of fear to confront on a daily basis. No fear as great as the one you have to confront, in order to send your children out into the world to become conscious of their own beliefs and individuality. 

Reference:

Gomez, C.A. (2013, November 5). “Fear: Beneath the Façade.” In Man Up: Reimagining Modern      Manhood (pp. 39-61). New York, NY: Penguin Group.