Blog #1

For my blog this week, I found a question from the readings that stuck out to me, and that I wanted to expand on. The question that I decided to go into further depth on was “ What sorts of coping strategies do you have for paying attention? Maybe you can disclose this situation to your listener, if appropriate. Maybe there are certain times of the day when you focus better. Maybe there are circumstances during which you can listen more effectively (e.g., in a quiet room or particular seat, when you’re able to take notes or ask questions, if its just before/ after a meal, etc.).”

When I first read this question, it stood out to me because I feel like everyone has different ways with coping, not just with paying attention, but with life in general. I have always been someone who has really needed to zone in on a conversation to get the full dialect of what the speaker is saying. I always considered myself a good listener, until I took a listening class and realized it is way more complex than we initially analyze it to be. With the skills I learned about listening, I was able to apply it to my everyday life, and how it helps me pay attention. One thing I know that I do often, is all of my nonverbal need to be directly correlated to the person sending the message. Often times I find myself looking around or thinking about looking at my phone, and I realize I am pseudo- listening, and try and adjust myself back to the conversation. 

Along with a few of the things I do to pay attention, I notice I generally focus better towards the end of the day. During mid morning- until afternoon, I find myself wanting to have my alone time to relax and recharge, or I am busy with school work and all the things I know I have to get done that day. By the time evening comes around, I am generally recharged, and my mind is able to give the speaker the attention they deserve. I also agree with the idea that there are different circumstances in which we can pay attention better. For me, it isn't always about the physical area I am in. Coffee shops, and just being in a personal space with the speaker obviously helps, because it gives us privacy to have a conversation without any barriers or need to worry about being distracted. I think I definitely pay attention better when the topic is something I can relate to, or have gone through something similar. I love giving advice, so the more I feel like I have a connection to the topic, the more I feel like the advice I could give by paying attention would be helpful. I also feel like the closer you are to the person who is speaking, the easier it is to pay attention to what they are saying. I know I listen with not only open ears, but an open heart as well when my friends are talking because I always want to be able to give them the best advice I possibly can. I know if that is my goal, then I have to do everything in my power to use all the coping mechanisms I have. 

At the end of the day, I feel like if the person, conversations, or scenario is important to you, that you will find a way to pay attention, regardless of what coping mechanisms you use or need to have.