March Blog Post

Two ideas from the chapter that I related to were the ideas of cynicism and nihilism. Cynicism in the text is defined as "the belief that our struggles are so great as to be impossible to change, leading to the feeling that we have diminishing agency, diminishing ability to change what we feel should change." The feeling of hopelessness, doom and despair, often goes hand in hand with this and it’s nihilism.

The text states, "Exhaustion can keep you on the couch when others need you. Resting often and returning to our passion, to what we believe in and what we love, is our solution to the exhaustion we feel." This was a conflict that I battled with myself and it never seemed to have an ending. Before moving to Boise, I was in a place that seemed never ending. I worked at a restaurant, didn't go to school and had no aspirations, even though I desperately wanted to get out of the situation I was in.

Instead of strongly believing in myself and telling myself there was an end to this, I constantly justified why I couldn’t. I knew I should and could change, but being exhausted with the thoughts running through my head made it difficult. Nihilism, which is a sense of doom, despair and meaningless is what I ultimately wound up feeling the more and more I didn’t change. After deciding on the move to Boise, I re enrolled in school in New York and obtained my associates degree. Everything got good in a hurry and I totally changed my outlook on life and myself. It’s just interesting reading this piece from the text and realizing much it related to me.

I also felt these two concepts fit in really well with the bully reading. I was picked on in elementary school

and I can relate to not only never wanting to go to school, but also parents not intervening. Feeling helpless,

weak and like days were never ending was honestly a norm for me. It’s nice to read this stories and be able

to relate to them on a personal level as well.