Family- the people who define nearly every perspective we have in life in one way or another. Although the word “family” can have vastly different connotative meanings, by dictionary definition, family are the people we see or think about almost every day for the first years of our lives, they are our blood relatives whom we cannot choose. A passage from Berry and Adams states, “…autoethnographic research has often brought care, insight, and hope to problems often previously plagued with harm, uncertainty, and distress. Yet, there is more work to be done. We assume many realities of family communication to be dynamic and complex, if not at times dumbfounding, overwhelming, and harmful.” At times throughout this piece, I wondered how I was supposed to be responsible for fully understanding these intense, and serious family dynamics scenarios. Being that every person’s family experience is different, I didn’t see how everyone could really take something away from this lesson.
It was the quote above that really got me. I understand that every person has a different background, and comes from different familial experiences. Since I have never personally experienced bullying, or had any issues regarding my family, it was difficult for me to connect with the reading and the quote. When continuing on with the reading from the “macro level”, I was able to make an outside-the-box connection. I have never experienced first-hand the content of which the reading piece was about, however, I understand that it might be more common than not to go through situation where bullying (familial or situational) is prevalent.
As I examine my life I realize how truly fortunate I am. Reading this article opened my eyes a bit to what many people go through. Not to say that my family dynamic is not complex, but I feel that comparatively, it is not as dramatic as many others’ might be. I think that this is important for everyone to understand when communicating. Since family dynamic is an essential component during one’s personal development, understanding that we are the way we are, we think the way we think, and we live the way we live is all a product of what we are known and taught. When it comes to family bullying, that is something we cannot escape as youth, just as we cannot escape how that then goes on to shape as as who we are.
For me personally, I realize that I might forget sometimes that not everyone grew up the same way I did. When people have differing opinions than me, many times I tend to argue and defend what I know without taking into consideration the reasons in which they feel the way they do (other than what they verbally explain). Previous communication courses I have taken have certainly broadened my perspective when it comes to interacting with people and being more thoughtful to other’s hardships and how they form who they are, and this article quote specifically will be something I take away from. In an article written by researcher and writer N.J Millar, he explains “…the love engrained in you is not a simple thing to 'turn off'. People dealing with a Family Serial Bully want to stop the bullying without sacrificing their family image and pride”. This is important to understand as a member of any community, and although I do not understand it from a personal level, I am grateful to have the opportunity to learn about it and how it affects relationships.
Keith Berry & Tony E. Adams (2016) Family Bullies, Journal of Family Communication, 16:1, 51-63, DOI: 10.1080/15267431.2015.1111217
Millar, N. (n.d.). Serial Bully Exposed. Retrieved November 13, 2017, from http://
familyserialbullyexposed.com/
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