F**k Bullying

Kyle Cady

Communication 160

Sect. 001

October Blog (3)

11/02/2017

F**k Bullying

            Bullying has and always will be a part of the development of children. From schoolyard scuffles to online cyber-bullying, bullying is unfortunately something that almost everyone can relate to in one way or another.

            Personally, I have been the victim of bullying, and I would say that my experiences have guided me to the person I am today, as well as a direct influence to my personable, but often standoffish behavior. According to Adams & Berry, there is no single definition of bullying. This is something that I would agree with due to the fact of the ever-changing technological landscape with the emergence of social media applications (Adams & Berry, 2016, p. 52). There really is no way to prevent bullying 100% of the time.

The best course of action, in my opinion, is education. The best thing we can do is educate anyone that will listen on the dangers and signs to watch out for if you or someone you love is experiencing bullying behavior. Bullying occurs due to an imbalance in power between two or more individuals. It is this imbalance of power that creates and fuels a conflict that can have devastating results like suicide and other self-harm processes. Education about the topic of bullying won’t stop bullying, but what it will do is give both the bully and the victim a chance to step back and look at the whole situation. The ability to understand what it going on in any conflict is crucial to an individual’s relational growth. For example, I am thankful for being bullied. As backwards as it sounds, bullying made me a stronger person and it helped me come to terms with the idea that life isn’t fair and if I am not happy with a situation, I am the only one with the power to change it. At the end of the day, I can only control my actions and there is saying that I like to live by that says “if you want something done right, do it yourself.” Not every Bullying situation is as black and white as mine was. My life is not easy; it is a never ending struggle of anxiety and a mind that won’t turn off. Giving someone affected by bullying the tools to do something about is the key to making a difference in a child’s life.

Unfortunately, it is not always so straight forward. In my experience, I never had anyone to talk to me and help me figure out what to say, how to act, and just take the time to give me some advice. I am a fighter. I learned that about myself when I was faced with the realization that I had lost all my friends, pushed what few I had left away, and dug myself a mental hole so deep that it didn’t look like I’d ever see the light of day again. It was at that moment that I came to the conclusion that I an only rely on myself. I needed to stop relying on others and just start making things happen. It was a rocky road with frequent interactions with law enforcement, a handful of schoolyard dust-ups, and a couple life altering ass chewings from my father. I won’t ever overcome the bullying that I experience growing up. I don’t want to. I have embraced my past to guide me into the future.

I can’t stand bullies and I will always stand up for those that feel like they don’t have a voice. I don’t even care what the topic in a conflict is over. No one should ever have to go through the traumatizing times that I had to experience. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy.

            However, I cannot say that I hate bullies or despise them. Though I can’t stand them, rather than attacking them verbally or even physically, I will try and find the root of the issue and help them work through whatever underlying issues they may be going through. Not every bullying conflict is so easy to work through. Every now and then, someone may come across a bully that does what he/she does just for the fun of it.

My advice: Breathe. Step back. Accept that you are perfect the way you are. Then continue doing your thing. Don’t ever let someone disrespect you as a human being and always defend yourself.

https://www.stopbullying.gov/media/facts/index.html

Reference

Keith Berry & Tony E. Adams (2016) Family Bullies, Journal of Family Communication, 16:1,

            51-63, DOI: 10.1080/15267431.2015.1111217