“Killing
all of the fears inside me became an obsession. It became a way for me to dare
myself into not being the little boy I still was and prepare myself to one day
become a man.” –Carlos Andres Gomez, Fear:
Beneath the Façade
“A
lot of people told me I couldn’t be a boy and soft, a boy and not masculine.” –Carlos
Andres Gomez, How Poetry Can Help Fight
Gender Inequality
Being a “boy” or “girl” in any
country can be extremely hard. All different cultures have their own societally
constructed definitions of both. In a country like America, where white male privilege
is alive and well, there are very specific qualifications as to what it is to
be a man. A man must be powerful, brave, strong, tough, show little emotion, be
good at sports, be advanced in construction or destruction of either building
materials or financial assets, and be a provider for his family. A man must do
all things on his own and rarely ask for help while being not scared of
anything.
Body type is another socially constructed gender
quality. Men should be strong and fit to be considered healthy. Strong and fit
men must be better at athletics, building things, and lifting all the pretty
ladies. It is common to see male greetings that consist of mock fights such as
punching each other or wrestling; Little hidden messages that show males are
not afraid to take on other males because they want to be seen as strong and
superior, even over males. Scrawny males are only considered attractive if they
have something else to bring to the table such as a great mind that can make a
lot of money. Otherwise, skinny males are considered more feminine, weak, and
geeky.
Emotions in America, are also seen as being incredibly
feminine. You do not see men cry, or if you do, you might feel weird about it. In
both the chapter from Carlos Andres Gomez’s book and the article about him, we
see snippets of how from a young age, he knew he couldn’t fear anything and
felt a strong need to excel in basketball to be considered a man in his father’s
eyes.
In this past week’s episode of the Big Bang Theory,
Howard and Bernadette find out that they are having a baby boy. Howard is
scared because he doesn’t know how to do any “man” things such as play sports.
His wife makes a joke about how he is small like a baby. His friends even make
jokes about how he doesn’t know any manly activities and how Bernadette, who is
known as being bossy on the show, and Penny, who grew up strong on a farm,
would be good masculine figures to Howard’s baby boy. All comments from our
culture’s socially constructed definitions of gender.
Link of that doesn't work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAihT1vBU8
It is important to study social constructions of
gender because it helps us to question and change the definitions. Even though
these gender beliefs remain strong in many Americans, times are very different.
My nephew loves to get his nails painted and will play Barbie’s with his sister
but he is also obsessed with Legos and construction. My niece wears dresses
with sneakers and backwards hats while she carries around her dolls or wrestles
with her brother. The struggles that Carlos Andres Gomez faced to be a man no
longer exist. Expressing emotions is considered honest and relieving. Even
thoughts on body shapes and sports for males has changed. “Hot nerd” was a huge
fad for a while and really did open the spectrum of how men come in all
different varieties, as well as women. Howard is a genius who was an astronaut
and he is incredibly caring. He has a lot more to offer as a father to a son
than he even realizes. His friends eventually point out things that may not fit
in the constructed definition of “masculine” but are still very masculine.
Every person should create their own definition of their own gender if they
feel a need for a definition at all.
References
Caspani, M. (2014, December 10). How poetry can
help fight gender inequality. Retrieved from World Economic Forum:
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2014/12/how-poetry-can-help-fight-gender-inequality/
Davidson, J. (2017, October 17). The Big Bang
Theory Having a Boy. Retrieved from YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAihT1vBU8
Gomez, C. A. (n.d.). Chapter 2 Fear: Beneath the
Facade. Retrieved from
https://blackboard.boisestate.edu/bbcswebdav/pid-4900568-dt-content-rid-24073094_1/courses/1179-75912COMM1601070/Andres%20Gomez%20Fear.pdf
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