Cassandra Ostermeier
Communication 160
31 October 2017
Blog Post # 3
How many times have you heard someone tell a younger boy who was crying, or even you were the one to say, “Be a man” or to “Man Up”?? Many of us could probably all name a few instances. But what does that really mean to “Be a Man” or “Man Up”? From the time boys are young, many of them are told these sayings or that it is not okay to cry. Carlos Andres Gomez, a NYC poet, writer and performer discuses this issue of gender inequality through poetry. Not a common outlet, but definitely one that is different than expected. Gomez states in an article, How Poetry Can Help Fight Gender Inequality, he felt constrained by the strict interpretation of masculinity which dictated that all men should be strong and unemotional and [wanted] to change that. He says, “ A lot of people told me I couldn’t be a boy and soft, a boy and not masculine.” Carlos Gomez believes his more emotional, sensitive side made him the outsider growing up (Caspani). That was when he began writing, a book and then into poetry to raise awareness for gender inequality. Gomez was asking questioning that slogan of “Be A Man” so men can start to reconsider the destructive symptoms of patriarchy (Caspani).
He was helping to raise the questions of why we tell men it is not okay to cry and why is it seen as a sign of weakness or being a sissy? Are men not allowed to express their feelings? In today’s society, it is portrayed that way. Because of that, many men are struggling with it. One Word did a video where they asked men what it meant to be a man to them, ages ranging 5-50 years old. A lot of these answers were, “to be strong”, “act tough”, “to buck up”, or “being a hero to someone”. In this video, maybe 8 or 9 out of the 45 men asked what it meant to them said it was portrayed as being sexist or insulting to men. One man in particular, aged 39 said “Who even defines what a man is? We all have to walk our own paths. What I consider to make me a man may not be what makes [others] a man.” This shows how small percentage of men think it may be alright to express emotions. In the article, How ‘Man Up’ and Other Stereotypical Sayings Hurt Boys, the author states, “A boy is told that, ‘ big boys don’t cry’, that he shouldn't be a mama’s boy. If these things aren’t said directly, these messages dominate in subtle ways in how boys are treated and therefore how boys come to think of themselves” (Bosse). It is literally engrained in them from their adolescent years when they are learning how to become themselves and discover who they are. It affects them in ways people are not truly aware of, especially in the emotional side. How would you feel if you were told to hide your emotions because it made you less of who you are? I doubt it would be a good feeling. They are taught to always be strong. Think of how many movies where the “hero” was the male, or the female always went back to the man, or the male was the lead role and the female is the supporting actress. This stereotype exists in more ways than we even notice on a day to day basis anymore. Its demeaning and destructive to men who may be more emotional than what society believes they should be. It all starts in the home. I believe it is important to engrain this into boys who eventually turn into men. Who knows, maybe it will help the stereotype that women need to be saved by a strong, manly man but rather finding someone who is compatible to you.
Bosse, J. (2017, June 22). How ‘Man Up’ And Other Stereotypical Sayings Hurt Boys. Retrieved
October 30, 2017, from https://www.the huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-man-up-and-other
-stereotypical-sayings-hurt-boys_us_594ac2b4e4b092ed90588b28
Caspani, M. (2014, December 10). How Poetry can help fight gender inequality. Retrieved
October 30, 2017, from https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2014/12/how-poetry-can-
help-fight-gender-inequality/.
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