January Blog Post

            The most important sentence from the readings in my opinion is, “And most importantly, I have learned that it is through building relationships and communities across unequal divides that we’re able to create the knowledge, strategies, and visions necessary for deep and expansive social transformation.” This is from Ann Russo’s Between Speech and Silence: Reflections on accountability. There’s just a whole lot to be unpacked in this sentence. Let’s begin by talking about unequal divides.

            At this point in time, some of the unequal divides that we see are a little more apparent than at other times. We see such a huge rift between white America and refugees. There’s a divide between minority groups and law enforcement. There’s a divide between Christian traditionalism and alternative sexualities and genders. As a white, straight, Christian male, there’s just a lot of problems facing these specific divides that I will never be able to understand. I will never be able to fully empathize with these people because I cannot walk a mile in their shoes. But what of that? Why is it important to recognize the divides that exist in our communities? It seems that most often, what divides us reveals the very reasons we need to come together.

            She refers to building relationships and communities between these divides. To me, the most import relationship to be built is friendship. Friendships imply a certain amount of give and take, not because of our inequalities, but because we care for one another. It’s unclear whether or not friendship comes from caring, or caring comes from friendships, but it doesn’t particularly matter. Having established friendships as the basis for the rest of her ideal, it is time to discuss the rest of the statement.

            What is it about friendship that leads to “deep and expansive social transformation?” I look at my own personal experiences for help. At a time in my life when I had very few friends and very little going for me, I was befriended by an immigrant who had been placed in the United States through the refugee program. This strong and wonderful woman was here in the states raising her children by herself despite crippling health issues. She did everything she could to help me. She didn’t have to. She had enough to take care of. Her disadvantage was never in the forefront or even afterthoughts of our conversations. I never thought of her as living on a lesser plane. Friendship doesn’t leave room for that. The gaps of privilege, opportunity, language, and culture were no longer significant when we viewed one another through the scope of equality via friendship.

            So what? Because I came to know this compassionate person, I try very hard to be aware of immigrants and refugees. Because she didn’t let her differences put up walls, and because my pride did not drive me to ignorance, I came to understand that despite our struggles and our various titles, we are the same. That friendship changed me. I’m more sensitive, I’m more aware, I get involved even though events don’t directly affect my comfort. That sort of conversion doesn’t come easily, but it was a simple byproduct of a friendship. Fear and love are the two most powerful motivators, fear creates separation, love creates inclusion. That is why me must seek out relationships across these unequal divides. That is what will change society for the better.