Tommy Drorbaugh
Com 160
Christina Ivey
February Blog Post
The
quote I’m choosing for this month’s post comes from Andres Gomez’s ‘Fear’
reading. This reading hit close to home with me because my parents have also
gotten divorced and I found a lot of his stories relatable. I’m actually going
to quote two parts of his readings, one at the beginning and end:
“Men are not
allowed to be afraid… Men puff up their chests and curse and yell and fight and
even die to avoid being called afraid, as if it were a mortal sin, the worst
one of all.” (Page 1)
and
“Fear is what
makes us great. It’s what makes us commit to the leap and dive in, full-bodied,
and risk and dig and push.” (Page 12)
I
chose the first quote because that’s how I identified as an aspiring man when I
was younger; to be tough and act like you like to fight. I did this because a
lot of my friends were like that and I thought girls liked a big, tough,
emotionless guy who could protect them. I wouldn’t share my feelings if it would
make me look weak or sensitive about certain things. Also, I would always look
to fight someone if they talked bad about me or challenged me. I would never
show fear or uncertainty about anything. This identity is also a lot like how I
perceived my dad being. He didn’t share his feelings much and always knew what
to do when we went out places and traveled. I think a lot of young adult males
feel this way and bottle up their emotions to fit the stereotype identity of
being a male. However, with the rise in popularity of feminism this stereotype
forced identity is becoming less oppressing on men.
I
chose the second quote because I relate to it a lot because of my now perceived
identity and life philosophy. I learned that being scared is usually a good
emotion and having emotions in general is ok. When you’re scared it’s usually
because of a big life change or you’re doing something new and you’re unsure of
that things outcome. Spoiler alert: every human being is scared of a change or
new experience at some point in our lives and it’s ok to talk about because it’s
so relatable. I learned that sharing that fear with someone can comfort you in
the intimacy of not being alone. I’ve learned that it takes a real ‘man’ (or
just strong person in general because women can be strong in this regard too…
and even better than men at it) to express fear, you have to be strong to let
someone know you feel vulnerable. I learned you can still be tough and show
fear. Another plus to expressing emotions is that girls actually dig a guy who
has vulnerabilities too. Overall I have learned to embrace fear in my life and
now know fear usually means I’m doing the right thing and whatever is making me
afraid will help me grow as a person if tackle it head on. Also, that just
because I’m a man doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be afraid. The definition of
what it means to be a ‘man’ is changing and I believe it’s for the better.
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