It was fascinating hearing Judith Butler's views on family. Referring to a chosen family as "fictive" it might seem that Butler is calling a chosen family less legitimate than a real family. However, when you couple this idea with Butler's idea that gender is performative, you realize the truth about her views: EVERYTHING IS PERFORMATIVE.
It can be so easy as part of a culture to not realize that a certain viewpoint or practice isn't universal. Culture is an incredibly powerful and often stealthy force in the formation of identity and worldview. We use our cultural perspective to create our own space to fit in. Even when we are purposefully in opposition to the cultural constructs around us, we are letting the existence of that construct define us.
Calling something, such as family or gender, performative isn't a way to minimize its importance. It is a way of understanding our own agency with society. Through realizing that culture (or counter-culture) is a performance, we then realize the difference between the inherent scientific properties of the universe and those properties of society that arise because we are attempting to create a semblance of order.
The truth of the matter is that every individual has the ability to perform in the manner that best suits him or herself. To borrow some ideas from Sartre: when life is a choice, when radical freedom is embraced- we take responsibility for our own actions and make the best of them. The constructs in your culture may or may not suit you, but realize that whatever performance you choose is only made possible through their existence.
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