September Blog Post: Listening Compassionately

We live in a world where are surrounded by sounds. "Hearing is a physiological experience in which sound waves vibrate our eardrums(Chris McRae)." We have the choice to ignore these sounds we hear and usually we do. By doing this we take these sounds for granted.

  Do you hear me? Are you listening? 

We all at one point in our lives have been asked either both or one of these two questions. The difference between the two can be easily missed. What is the difference? Aren't they the same? The answer is no, they are not the same. There is passive and active listening. Hearing has been taken to be a passive act. Listening has been treated as the active act.

After going over this in class, I have tried to focus more on active listening and really retaining information that I am receiving, whether that is in class, with a coach, or with a friend. I try to avoid being a pseudo listener especially when I am in a conversation I am not interested in. By doing this, I have found it much more easy to recognize when I was passively listening to something or someone. Before I had been introduce to listening compassionately, I did not compare or even think twice about if I was being an active or passive listener. My girlfriend would tell me at times, "you aren't listening to me." I would argue that I am listening and repeat what she was telling me. To me this was listening, but I realize now that to actually listen compassionately means to also understand or attempt to understand. When she would tell me this, she pointed out that my responses were too plain for me to be actually listening. She would tell me, "You hear what I am saying to you but you aren't listening to what I am saying." 

This might not seem to be a big deal, but imagine how many relationships, friendships, and families could have fallen apart because of passive listening. Our nations has a problem with this exact idea of listening. We as citizens and overall as human beings, take advantage or selective hearing. When it comes to politics dealing with our President, we chose to hear what best fits our point of view of what we believe is right. Think about it, do you care for any great ideas the other candidate may have? Most of the time if we do care for their ideas it is to attack the ideas that are opposing our own personal view. Listening compassionately can prevent conflicts and create more unity in the nation. Look at the riots over the black lives matter movement. Look at the unlawful killings of American citizens. Look at the misunderstandings that end relationships and lives. Most of which were sparked because of passive listening rather than listening compassionately and understanding. This nation is looking for someone and something that can change it and make it better when it lies inside of us all. The act of listening compassionately can change more than we can imagine.