September Blog Post- Brent Houston

 In her essay “Between Speech and Silence: Reflections on accountability, Ann Ruso states

“The practices of listening, decentering, minimizing intrusiveness, and stepping back often create discomfort, particularly for those with a structural advantage in such contexts.” This is a very astute observation. In American culture, the ability of the individual to attain success though hard work and ingenuity is drilled into every facet of life. From the fact that we use capitalism as our economic system to the fact that we bestow fame upon those willing to stand out, American culture encourages individuals to make sure they get their say in and avoid being left out. It can be easy to feel devalued when remaining silent and the process can be quite uncomfortable. As such, it can be very difficult to accept the words of another person as more informed or insightful than your own. It can be even more difficult to realize when an your own opinions on a specific matter have no bearing on the issue or, even worse, are offensive.

I tend to experience social anxiety in situations where I am the newest member of the group. This anxiety grows even worse if I am being introduced to the group by a person to whom I am close. My first few meetings with my girlfriend's friends were exhausting as I attempted to navigate the social norms of the group and establish my role in this new social frontier. As I tried to carve out this new homestead, I'd find it devastating when my jokes would fall flat or when my insights would be met with ambivalent friendliness.

It wasn't until I took the time actually learn the paradigms and personalities of the members of the group that I could actually find my own place. Remaining silent and observing was very uncomfortable. I constantly felt that I was missing opportunities to shine or was coming across as cold or disinterested. I felt powerless. That discomfort was just something that I had to get over. Once I did, I was able to get a feel for the culture of the group and my participation became substantially more productive and well-received.

As individuals, we need to value and understand the perspectives of others. By taking the time to absorb the perspectives of others, we are able to see the world through a lens other than our own. It can be far too easy to assume righteousness without different perspectives. On top of that, we need to shake some of our need to be the center of attention. It's true, getting attention makes you feel powerful. It's a good feeling. But it is only through empowering others and giving their perspective a thorough and fair examination that we can truly learn and begin to see what we can create together.

Russo, Ann. "Between Speech and Silence: Reflections on Accountability." N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Sept. 2016.