The Importance of Listening in Communication
Most human are born with ears and the ability to hear. As babies, we grow encountering many sounds, learning to distinguish the sound of a truck from the voice of a human being like our parents. Although we are surrounded by many sounds each day, we have to actively engage by listening to one particular sound. Did you catch the word I used? We have to actively engage by listening to one particular sound. The distinction between hearing and listening is that hearing is a passive act that most are born with whereas listening is an active interaction, a skill that needs to be developed.
In Professor Christina Ivey’s COMM 160 class at Boise State,
she brought this to our class’s attention, wanting to make aware this idea of compassionate
listening. Listening is defined as a stance or way of engaging others that is
shaped by context, individual experience, and cultural expectations. Many
people engage in conversations for personal gain, and fail to take others
seriously by refusing to truly listen. Going back to what I said previously, no
one wakes up one day and becomes a great communicator by being a compassionate
listener, it is a skill that takes practice. To be an effective communicator,
you need to develop this skill, by putting ourselves aside and “try to engage change
in our relationships and positions in the word by listening to learn from the
other.” (Ivey) To do this, we must recognize the barriers we put into place
that makes it difficult.
Walking through campus, the one thing I find most common
between students is a set of headphones, connected to a device. Being guilty of
this, I find myself in many interactions with others only half-engage into what
they are saying; being too focused on the incoming text I received from a
friend. I believe this definitely has affected compassionate communication
between people and even can become a tool of avoid-ant behavior to not talk to
others. Stated in Communication- A Critical/Cultural Introduction by
Warren & Fassett, it is stated “I do not merely hear with my ears, I hear
with my whole body. My ears are at best the focal organs of hearing.”(pg. 44) If we
show ourselves to be non-verbally avoid-ant to participate in communication and
listening with others, we will never practice compassionate listening with
others. Breaking this barrier can be extremely difficult, but “listening to
learn from the other in a way of enacting change in our relationships and positions
in the world,”(Ivey) is a step to understanding the affect we have. One of the pictures
I have provided in this blog describes 7 ways to develop active listening
skills, by being attentive, asking questions, being attuned to non-verbal
communication, and clarifying with the other person. These can make a
conversation with the potential to go south, fly way past the second star to
the right and straight on till morning.
One
step I have taken to grow, is realizing the amount of time I disconnect from
others by being on my phone. By being self-absorbed in my phone, I have failed
to realize the amount of neglect that I put on others. Another picture I have
provided shows a man and woman at a restaurant. Thinking of the man being
completely oblivious of the woman’s feelings, I am reminded of how many times I
have found myself in the same situation. For many young adults these days, this
can become a habit, but also can be broken. Everyone will continue in the same
self-serving cycle of commutation with each other, hearing each other instead
of truly listening if we don’t seek to be compassionate listeners. I believe by
realizing the barriers that we put on ourselves, we can truly understand where
we are at as listeners. Once we come to full-realization, we can begin to start
on the journey of becoming good communicators and truly learn to engage and
listen to our fellow human beings.
Warren, John T., and Deanna L. Fassett. Communication: A Critical/cultural Introduction. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 2011. Print.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/00/6e/c9/006ec987e84dc0e6280e88263f983e59.jpg
http://media.ccl.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Coaching-Others.png
No comments:
Post a Comment