Thursday, September 29, 2016

Kambri Smith-September Blog Post

The Importance of Listening in Communication

Most human are born with ears and the ability to hear. As babies, we grow encountering many sounds, learning to distinguish the sound of a truck from the voice of a human being like our parents. Although we are surrounded by many sounds each day, we have to actively engage by listening to one particular sound. Did you catch the word I used? We have to actively engage by listening to one particular sound. The distinction between hearing and listening is that hearing is a passive act that most are born with whereas listening is an active interaction, a skill that needs to be developed.
In Professor Christina Ivey’s COMM 160 class at Boise State, she brought this to our class’s attention, wanting to make aware this idea of compassionate listening. Listening is defined as a stance or way of engaging others that is shaped by context, individual experience, and cultural expectations. Many people engage in conversations for personal gain, and fail to take others seriously by refusing to truly listen. Going back to what I said previously, no one wakes up one day and becomes a great communicator by being a compassionate listener, it is a skill that takes practice. To be an effective communicator, you need to develop this skill, by putting ourselves aside and “try to engage change in our relationships and positions in the word by listening to learn from the other.” (Ivey) To do this, we must recognize the barriers we put into place that makes it difficult.
Walking through campus, the one thing I find most common between students is a set of headphones, connected to a device. Being guilty of this, I find myself in many interactions with others only half-engage into what they are saying; being too focused on the incoming text I received from a friend. I believe this definitely has affected compassionate communication between people and even can become a tool of avoid-ant behavior to not talk to others. Stated in Communication- A Critical/Cultural Introduction by Warren & Fassett, it is stated “I do not merely hear with my ears, I hear with my whole body. My ears are at best the focal organs of hearing.”(pg. 44) If we show ourselves to be non-verbally avoid-ant to participate in communication and listening with others, we will never practice compassionate listening with others. Breaking this barrier can be extremely difficult, but “listening to learn from the other in a way of enacting change in our relationships and positions in the world,”(Ivey) is a step to understanding the affect we have. One of the pictures I have provided in this blog describes 7 ways to develop active listening skills, by being attentive, asking questions, being attuned to non-verbal communication, and clarifying with the other person. These can make a conversation with the potential to go south, fly way past the second star to the right and straight on till morning.
            One step I have taken to grow, is realizing the amount of time I disconnect from others by being on my phone. By being self-absorbed in my phone, I have failed to realize the amount of neglect that I put on others. Another picture I have provided shows a man and woman at a restaurant. Thinking of the man being completely oblivious of the woman’s feelings, I am reminded of how many times I have found myself in the same situation. For many young adults these days, this can become a habit, but also can be broken. Everyone will continue in the same self-serving cycle of commutation with each other, hearing each other instead of truly listening if we don’t seek to be compassionate listeners. I believe by realizing the barriers that we put on ourselves, we can truly understand where we are at as listeners. Once we come to full-realization, we can begin to start on the journey of becoming good communicators and truly learn to engage and listen to our fellow human beings. 


Warren, John T., and Deanna L. Fassett. Communication: A Critical/cultural Introduction. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 2011. Print.  

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