“The Most Important
Sentence”
I have been raised by my parents to
believe “actions speak louder than words”.
I’ve been shown many examples throughout my life, stemming all the way
back to my earliest days. Anyone can
talk, but what you do takes it a step further and truly reveals who you are. While reading the chapter on Nonverbal
communication and how powerful it can be, the saying “What you do is more
important than what you say.” It made me
think back to those lessons of actions and how the way we act can reveal far more
than words. Nonverbal actions are so
honest and real. Most of the time our
bodies respond or react with genuine response, like gasping, crying, flinching,
clutching, crossing arms, as well as a multitude of facial expressions exposing
our emotions.
Growing up
as an athlete, being in the public eye, I was made aware of my body language
and how my reaction to loss, or victory could be viewed as negative or
positive. So, I was very self-aware of
the message I was giving off to those I competed against and those who just
watched as an observer. I never wanted
to seem boastful or a bragger, even if I was at the top of my game. I diminished my body language at times,
lessening my body space, keeping an approachable look on my face and less
intimidating stance toward my opponents.
At other times, when I was in the heat of competition, I would
exaggerate my stance, increase my space, and moderate my facial expressions, so
as not to give my opponent any edge. I
always knew the value and strength nonverbal language played on the sports
field.
Understanding
the importance of nonverbal messages played an important part in my player to
coach relationships. Making eye contact,
leaning forward with my body, and nodding in approval were all pieces in place
to make my coaches know that I respected their message and was listening
intently. I was reinforcing the verbal
message they had given. I didn’t have to
say what I wanted to do out on the field, but rather would show up and
demonstrate it with discipline and intensity.
Did my mindset and body awareness always produce a positive
outcome? No…not necessarily. But even in loss, I managed my anger, disappointment,
and utter disgust by maintaining physical composure. Tried not to let my opponent know they got
the best of me, always reminding myself that “actions speak louder than words.”
I could be
a ferocious player on the field, but without saying taunting words, I could
look my opponent in the eye, wink, and then make a move right by them. Reaching out a hand to help someone up,
patting a player on the helmet or shoulder, or giving a chest bump in the end
zone were all ways I could communicate my true inner being…the heart of a
competitor. My parents were both college
athletes and they had become aware of the power they held as a public figure,
so they shared situations, outcomes, and general advice throughout my younger
years. I became more and more aware of
poor examples of players out of control, very evident by what they said and what
they did. I decided that wasn’t who I
was and the message I wanted to send.
This world
isn’t full of good examples of sportsmanship…rather we get bombarded by
negative images of hateful words, negative actions, and pointless chatter. It happens at all levels of athletics, so I
really appreciate the great ones who demonstrate positive character through
actions. Those players don’t tend to get
recognized or identified, except in retrospect after their actions have spoken
for themselves over time. Brett Favre is
a good example of composure under pressure, positivity, and positive nonverbal
communication.
It isn’t
surprising that real students of the game would understand that success in
athletics is connected with nonverbal body language. Many quarterbacks are leaders, or alpha
males, and this shows in the way they carry their bodies. This builds confidence in their teammates and
their position on the team. Also, making
connections with teammates builds bonds and the tighter the bond, the more
committed members tend to be. Proxemics
plays a big part in this fraternity of athletes. There is more touching in close proximity
within a team due to the comradery and desire to connect. Teammates high five, hug, chest bump, pile on
one another, give a hand, make gestures, signal and speak closely on a daily
basis. The amount of space between
teammates tends to be very small, with little personal space. This physical closeness
along with the environment tends to support more nonverbal communication and a
natural connection.
Nonverbal communication plays a
huge role in athletics and understanding that has only helped me to capitalize on
making connections. I put more weight
into less talk, and more action to get my message across. I came across this article that identifies
how vital nonverbal communication is to athletes and how they may be more adapt
to reading nonverbal cues as well as giving them.
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