Blog Post 1

Compassionate Listening

I believe true listening requires constant and ongoing effort in order for it to be meaningful. So often, we hear how we need to be become “good listeners” and go beyond just the act of hearing. But there are so many definitions of this so, what exactly does that mean? In the text, Warren states that, “we might begin to develop a more complex and inclusive understanding of listening if we think of it as a stance, or approach to experience, rather than simply a matter of hearing or listening” (p. 65). This sentence stood out to me for multiple reasons. When I read this, I immediately thought of invitational rhetoric and how this creates an open environment for the act of sharing and understanding to begin. Sonja Foss and Cindy Griffin created invitational rhetoric to generate meaningful relationships rooted in value, equality, and self determination through interaction and the desire to garner experience. This is important because it emphasizes the significance of entering another's "world" to gain a new perspective and see the world through their eyes. This is done by listening to them. Many times, at least in my experiences, I get so caught up on trying to remind myself to listen, engage, and try to make sure the other person felt like they were being heard that I miss the opportunity for meaningful interaction to occur. Whereas, if I would have taken a “stance” that was concerned with gaining an experience with the other, I could also begin to not only listen compassionately but completely.

As I related this back to a book called The Zen of Listening, I was transfixed by the overanalyzing of my own listening skills. This book discusses the use of meditation before you speak as a method to stop, slow down, and thoughtfully think about the nature of listening and responding in conversations. “One of the benefits of mediation is that you learn to pause before you speak. Meditation deautomatizes your false self, the part of the ego that is self-conscious, insecure, righteous and is deluded by your barriers” (Shafir p. 149). If the process of listening is not grounded in mindfulness, the compassionate nor the critical mode of listening can occur. And if the effort to have these elements is, in fact, present in yourself, you begin to take that stance or approach to experience Warren talks about. Many of us fall short in moving away from personal gain and into attempting to actually listen to others. Asking yourself ways that you can oratorally and dialogically engage, on an individual level, cuts out the layers of pretense in order to more freely communicate.

Shafir, R. Z. (2003). The Zen of listening: Mindful communication in the age of distraction. Wheaton, Ill: Quest Books.

Warren, John T. and Deanna L. Fasset.  “Chapter 4: compassionate critical listening.” Communication: A Critical/cultural Introduction. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE, 2015. Print.