Blog #1 - Vanessa Ventresco

Are we hearing or just listening?

The sentence that stood out to me was from the textbook, Communication: A Critical/Cultural Introduction (2015), written by John T. Warren and Deanna L. Fassett in chapter four.

“If listening is a stance, then we can begin to move away from thinking of listening exclusively in terms of the physiological act of hearing and move toward thinking of listening as a way of fully engaging with others” (pg. 65).

When I read this sentence, it really put things into perspective. We are listening, but not hearing. When you are walking to class, maybe you are listening to music or listening to people talk as they walk past you. There is always some sort of background noise. But to fully engage with someone while listening is something else.

For example, you and your friend decided to go get coffee at a coffee shop downtown, to get “caught up.” You go mid-morning, so it is a busy time. There are a lot of background noise, people talking, and coffee machines working, people dropping dishes off into the bin. It is hard to focus on what your friend is talking about. Yet, you think you are still listening. But you find yourself asking questions for your friend to clarify something or to repeat something or you interrupt to say something that happened to you. But if we all took the time to focus on what the friend is saying and actively engage in the conversation, you are going to enjoy the conversation and time you spent with your friend.

Some people may argue that they are very good at actively listening and engaging with others. They may claim that when they are listening to a friend or co-work vent, they will tell them their experience with the situation or tell them what they should do. While that is engaging in the conversation, you are not quite listening to the person. Linda Adams from Gordon Training International says, “You active listen by consciously suspending your own agenda, ideas, and judgments and putting yourself in other’s shoes” (2016). When you are listening to someone and you responded with a “you sound upset” or “it is great to hear you are happy,” you are actively listening and focusing on that one person and the topic. Have you ever wanted someone to just listen? That is what Linda was talking about. We all need someone to just listen and you can be that someone to a friend who needs it.  

http://www.gordontraining.com/free-workplace-articles/just-because-youre-hearing-doesnt-mean-youre-listening/