November blog post

All About Allies  

We had a ton of awesome readings this month, but the one that made me snap my fingers the most was definitely Carlos Maza’s article “Call yourself an LGBT ally? Here’s how to actually be one.” It was not the longest article, but it was packed with so much important information. I feel like a lot of people would consider themselves to be allies, but do not really know what that means or what it entails. Honestly, I was not even really sure what it meant. I just assumed it meant you were chill with people being gay or that you supported the gay people in your life. That sort of feels like a baby step after reading Maza’s article.

Maybe it was my upbringing. I have gay family members so it was always just normal to me. I think that led the the attitude I carried for a while- I have a gay family member that I love and some gay friends who are wonderful people- I have done my part. I thought, obviously I am an ally, I have lots of gay people in my life, I do not need to shout it from the rooftops. However, as I got older and the people at school got a little meaner, I began to feel the need to really show my support for the LGBT community. Maza was correct in saying “Being an ally is about more than policy.” It is more than just the big things, there are a lot of struggles along the way that do not make headlines.

I went to a Catholic high school where I had teachers who taught “lessons” on how homosexuality is a huge sin and all gay people would go straight to hell while straight, devout people pretty much got a free pass to heaven (which honestly made hell sound pretty appealing). My best friend’s dad is gay and the two of us had a class together with a particularly mean teacher. It was so difficult to sit through those lessons knowing that Katie was hurting and this in turn made her dad feel so awful. One of my favorite school memories was a day in class when that teacher gave another mean “lesson” on homosexuality. Katie finally spoke up and told her that her dad is gay and what she was saying was incredibly hurtful and offensive. The teacher immediately sent her to the principal’s office for “having an attitude.” When Katie left the room the entire class jumped to her defense and the defense of the LGBT community. Our teacher got so frustrated she tried to send all of us to the principal’s office. Thankfully our principal made her apologize to Katie. It was a small situation that felt like a huge victory.

Maza’s three other points were: “Be aware of how much space you take up,” “Don’t minimize a person’s queerness,” and “Let LGBT people disappoint you.” These are all wonderful points that are definitely overlooked. I almost wish he had added a section on “the gay best friend” and how people (I feel like mainly women) treat them almost as if they are some sort of trendy accessory. I could write a whole other blog post just on that alone. I really liked that he talked about the stereotype of gay people that the media has created. I feel like so many shows and movies with a gay character use the same gay character- a successful, sassy, feminine, extremely well dressed best friend who says funny things and gives life advice. I cannot imagine feeling like I need to live up to that. I think everyone who considers himself or herself an ally should read this article and really assess their role as an ally, what type of ally they would like to be, and how to be the best ally they can be.