November Blog Post

Before Thanksgiving break, we discussed in class meta-communication which is communication about communication, "For instance, if we are "playing," I might insult you, knowing that you'll understand the frame and know the insult isn't really an insult. In this way, the frame of joking changes the insult into friendly teasing, avoiding hurt feelings."(148) Meta-communication is nonverbal communication that is either supplements what is being said or indicates that what is being said is not what is meant. For example, when a baby is crying you know something is wrong by the baby indicating the tears running down their face. 

There are many different ways to express meta-communication. Sometimes social protocol dictates that people say something very different than what they feel. Meta-communication occurs, the words spoken are typically formalities and contain very little meaning. This term was invented by Gregory Bateson in the 1970's. Bateson's idea of meta-communication is that certain body language and mannerism combine with people's words to become codes. Effectively communicating in this way requires that all parties know and understand each others' codes.

Bateson also believed that every communication is essentially a communication within a communication, meaning that there is often more than one conversation taking place at once. There is the actual conversation, what is being said, and the meta-communication conversation, what is being conveyed. Meta- communication is all nonverbal cues like tone of voice, body language, gestures, facial expression that carry meaning that either enhance of disallow what we say in words, There's a whole conversation going on beneath the surface. The communication that indicates how verbal information should be interpreted; stimuli surrounding the verbal communication also have a meaning, which may or may not be congruent with that of or support the verbal talk. It may support or contradict verbal communication. 

Psychologists define meta-communication as the sum of your verbal and non-verbal communication. For example, if you say "Glad to see you" to someone and roll your eyes at the same time, they will not feel that you are actually glad to see them. A brother definition would be that meta-communication involves how people perceive you, not just your words. As a result they have more influence and receive more cooperation. It is critical to meta-communication when you want to successfully discuss something tricky that has the potential to trigger a reactive response in your listener. 

This type of communication happens a lot more than you think.